by Anita Sullivan

Homesick satellite dish


Jeff is a satellite dish installer from Worcester. He works with his schoolfriend Hopper and lives with his agoraphobic mother. One day an actual bolt from the blue changes his quiet life forever. Now there is a voice in his head, speaking a language he doesn't understand and home is a very alien place.

'Homesick' was BBC Radio Afternoon Play broadcast March 2009 as part of a Science Fiction seriesslot. It was produced by Karen Rose of Sweet Talk productions, directed by Anita Sullivan, recorded and edited by David Thomas. It starred Paul Ritter, Maxine Peake and Mark Heap, with Ewan Bailey and Susan Jameson.

Duration: 44 minutes.


[Nicole enters the ladies' toilet of The Lamb and Flag with Jeff in tow.]

NICOLE -Sit on the sink.

JEFF -What’s that?

ALIEN -A probe.

NICOLE -An octoscope.

ALIEN -Inner space probe.

NICOLE -At your own risk. I last used it on a cat and it hasn’t been sterilised. Want a choc-drop?

JEFF -No, ta.

NICOLE -Right then. Which ear?

JEFF -This one.

[She inserts the octoscope in Jeff’s ear.]


ALIEN -Penetration.

JEFF -It’s cold!

NICOLE -Stop whining. Bad boy!

JEFF -Well?

NICOLE -I can see something.

JEFF -Can yer?

NICOLE -It’s a tick.

ALIEN -Going deeper.

JEFF -I en’t imagining it!

NICOLE -It’s right up against the ear-drum.

JEFF -Can yer get it out?

ALIEN -Kusut ur kwes. Pain and Fear!

NICOLE -Weird. Normally they bury their heads in the skin but this one is sort of… floating. Attached by a… umbilical cord. Oh my god.

JEFF -What! What?

NICOLE -It looked at me.

[Someone knocks on the toilet door.]

JEFF -Get it out, get it out!

NICOLE -OK. Forceps.

ALIEN -Graspin’ me.

& JEFF -Graspin’ me.

JEFF -Oh god! I can feel it!


JEFF -When yer pull.

ALIEN -Right through me body.

& JEFF -Right through me body.

NICOLE -Keep still!

ALIEN -In me ‘ead, my guts!

& JEFF -In me ‘ead, me guts!

WOMAN -[Off] Oi? What yer dooin’ in there?

NICOLE -Just coming!

JEFF -Argghhh!

WOMAN -[Off.] So I ‘ear.

ALIEN -No. Don’t. Stop. Stop!

& JEFF -No. Don’t. Stop. Stop!

JEFF -Bloody hell.


JEFF -It’s gone quiet.

NICOLE -It wouldn’t budge. I might have squashed it.

ALIEN -Still here.

JEFF -[Relieved.] No. ‘e’s fine. ‘e’s all right.

WOMAN -[Off.] ‘urry up yer dirty buggers! I’s bustin’!

NICOLE -All right, all right!

JEFF -I’m Jeff, by the way.

NICOLE -Hi. I’m Nicole.


Paul Ritter, Maxine Peak and Mark Heap

Paul Ritter, Maxine Peake and Mark Heap



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